Friday, 13 July 2012

Body Hair - Should women embrace it or remove it?


I recently watched Cherry Healey: How to Get a Life (FYI - I love her). This episode was all about looks and part of it was focussed on body hair and how the majority of both men and women feel that women should get rid of it. 


Image source: The Guardian

I started shaving my legs young. I was 10 *waits for you to get off the floor*. Yep 10 years old and I remember it as if it was yesterday. I was supposed to be going bowling for my cousin’s birthday and told my Mum I didn’t want to go as I didn’t have anything to wear. She suggested an outfit (my purple tshirt with orange cut off dungarees - high fashion I’ll have you know in 1994) but I refused because I didn’t want to show my legs.”Why not?” she asked me and so I told her - “My legs are too hairy”.

I can’t remember whether I asked my Mum if I could shave them or she suggested it; either way I was really upset. I remember Mum doing it for me though and showing me how to make sure I didn’t cut myself. I wore my orange dungarees that night and I went bowling - and all I could do the whole night was sit and stroke my legs; I couldn’t believe how smooth they were! I was so happy! A marked contrast to the few weeks prior to this event; when I came to realise I was in fact hairy.

It was on the school playing field at lunch break and we were all mucking around when my “supposed” best friend at the time noticed my legs and started taunting me “Hairy legs! Hairy legs! Hairy legs!”. That was it; that was all she said - but it was enough to make me incredibly self conscious about it.

Like most people who are unhappy with a part of them - I was always on the lookout. I used to constantly stare at other women and girls’ legs to see if they were hairy. I felt like a freak. Even though I was embarrassed I had to start shaving my legs, I was also so incredibly happy I wasn’t hairy anymore. A few months later “supposed best friend” and I were hanging out with some other girls when one of them turned to me and said “Do you shave your legs?”. I was mortified - I didn’t think anyone knew! Blushing, I told her I did and to my surprise she replied “Yeah me too”. I felt such relief that I wasn’t the only one and felt kind of cool knowing we were both doing something grown up!

From there it was a slippery slope, as through puberty, hair started sprouting up all over my body and just like society taught me; I whipped it off as fast as I could.

So why do we do it? When I think about it I want to say “Yeah - but I really don’t like being hairy” and maybe that’s true but is that only the case because it’s the norm? My whole life everyone around me has said “body hair on women is disgusting and must be removed”. Now I’m in my late twenties (and therefore should know better) I’ve tried rebelling against this - and if I don’t want to shave my legs I won’t. In fact sometimes I’ll stick my legs in Tom’s face yelling “Look how hairy I am?” just to see him be disgusted so I can throw the figurative book on feminism at him (Tom actually isn’t disgusted just in case anyone is getting cross at him). The point is, that even if Tom said he didn’t mind, at the end of the day I would still go and shave my legs. I’d make
my stand but then once I’d proved my point, I’d go and do it anyway. It doesn’t make sense.

What I find hilarious is doing my bikini line - I mean it looks good for about 5 minutes and then it rapidly transforms into a big old angry red rash which to be honest is just as bad as it looking like a forest. Yet I still do it.

Whenever I get an opportunity to let my body hair grow (aka when Tom lived in London, or goes away without me) I do it. But it’s not the hair growing I find liberating, it’s the act of removing it all when I decide it’s getting too unruly.

I certainly don’t have the answers. I hate removing body hair. I hate how long it takes, I hate that it never actually looks nice and I hate that I feel I have to do it. Yet I also hate being hairy (and I am in a lot of places I don’t care to admit) and find it unsexy and unappealing. But do I only feel this way because it’s how I’ve been taught to think? Because I hate the idea of that even more!


What do you think? Do you remove body hair or do you keep it? Do you think women should remove it or do you rebel against the idea? 

22 comments:

  1. Lauren Clayton13 July 2012 22:34

    Eep I also hate the body hair removal routine but I just can't stand having ANY underarm or pubic hair. I'm plucking up the courage to write my own post about my current experiment (ie see how long I can go before whipping it all off) and your post has helped me! I think I was about 12 when I first shaved my legs and it was because one of the boys in my class said I had hairy knees! 

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  2. This is such an interesting topic, and one that I have thought a lot about in the past! When I studied in America, I did a Women's Studies class, and this subject got raised at one point. A girl there said that she had decided, some time before, to stop shaving under her arms, and whilst she was fine with it, various male members of her family persisted in asking her if she was a lesbian. Somehow, reluctance to remove body hair is equated (by some less enlightened individuals) with sexuality!

    From a personal point of view - I am not too precious about removing body hair, but only when I know it's not going to be on display. I don't have a significant other in my life, so I don't feel obliged to shave my legs/under my arms/my bikini line for another person's benefit. As far as underarm hair goes, I do it regularly, because I feel cleaner when I do - I always feel I have more chance of developing late-in-day-BO when it gets a bit longer (overshare? sorry!). With my leg hair, I am much more inclined to let it grow and grow until I know my legs are going to be out, but that makes it so much more of a pain in the arse when it comes to removing it; it takes so much longer than if it was only stubbly! 

    Having said all this, if I know, for example, I'm going swimming, then I dehair as much as I can. I do get annoyed when I look round the swimming pool and see the men, who literally just have to pull on a pair of trunks, and I think about what I go through to become swimming costume-ready! 

    And I totally agree about bikini lines - I always get a rash and it's so irritating and horrible to look at! 

    (Sorry for such a long comment!)

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  3. I remember my mum telling me to never start shaving my legs, because the hair will grown back black and curly. She did later admit to this scare tactic because she said she wanted me to not have to bother with the hassle of it, and I think I eventually started at 14? I remember grazing my whole shin with the razor though when my foot slipped off the side of the bath, pleasant. 
    To be honest I am not particularly enthralled with removing body hair, in the winter I can go for weeks without bothering, god bless opaque tights! I always shave my armpits but unless someone (other than Sam) is going to be seeing my legs (so not much in this weather!) I just dont bother!

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  4. Victoria Saxton14 July 2012 09:17

    I'm just listening to Caitlin Moran's "How to Be a Woman" (audio books are the future people) and am currently on the chapter re body hair. I urge you all to read/listen to it if you haven't. Pretty f'ing funny...she thinks we pretty much leave 'downstairs' alone - trim and tidy - but why butcher ourselves because of porn... anyway, weirdly just listening to this chapter as you posted this.... 

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  5. Definitely! I highly recommend the book too. She's hilarious. We went to see her talk about the book too - she's brilliant!

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  6. Don't apologise! Fantastic comment with lots of very good points!

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  7. Try being Brazilian.  Here it is hard to find someone who will let the hair grow wild. Waxing is as much as a part of womanhood as it is to menstruate. We wax everything, as you may well know. It's painful, but easy. I also let it grow when my husband is traveling or when it's winter time, but in the summer I just wax. It's faster, and it last for such a long time. The other day a friend of mine was wearing a skirt and I noticed she doesn't shave. She still has baby hair on her legs, and because she's blonde, it looks nice! I thought about my own legs and how hard it would be to have kept my hair like she did! Great post, Fran! I'm really enjoying your blog!

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  8. Let's be honest about this if you dont remove underarm hair you sweat more and your deodrant becomes less effective. Sad to say this is not just a vanity issue.

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  9. skullsandponies15 July 2012 14:48

    Is that true though? If that was the case - wouldn't men be doing it too? I have to say though - I can leave my legs for a bit but it drives me mad if I can't shave my armpits! If I had to choose only one place to de-hair - armpits would win!

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  10. skullsandponies15 July 2012 14:49

    Thanks Mayra! Out of interest do you go somewhere to get waxed or do it yourself? 

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  11. It's interesting that you admitted that you didn't/don't remove it if Toms not around....

    I don't do it religiously, if I can't be bothered, I don't etc, but it's like washing your hair, yes you might skip a wash if you're having a lazy day but then it feels even nicer when you *do* wash it. Like hair removal I suppose. It 'feels' nice. It also looks nice.

    And tbh seeing hairy legs on a woman gives me the heeby jeeebies!!

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  12. Charlotte Williams15 July 2012 17:24

    I don't think women should feel the need to remove hair just because the magazines & advertisements  tell you too it's should be a personal choice and if a woman wants to grow her hair why should she be sign posted as not normal,  women of the world if you wish  to not shave and you are comfortable with it   then go forth and let the wind pass though your ... hair.  xD  

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  13. A Thrifty Mrs15 July 2012 17:41

    I go thought phases where I don't shave my armpits and I can assure you I do not smell. I use a crystal deoderant and smell just fine.
    I know of many other woman - not to mention men, who don't shave their armpits and they do not smell bad. At all. If you wash daily and don't have a medical problem then it is likely that most other people won't either.

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  14. I'm male and really don't mind body hair on women as long as it isn't wild & out of control. And no this isn't a niche interest of mine!

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  15. Very interesting reading other comments.

    As a girl with dark hair, I got teased one day when someone saw leg hairs through my tights. Mortified, that night I attempted a shave. Grabbed a bic from my sister and dry shaved, no one had told me how to shave. Agonising itch and rash for that night and the next day. Ridiculous that we get teased into doing stuff.

    Always been warey of sweating, I seem to sweat more than a lot of women, and anti-perspirant is I think extremely unhealthy and makes me feel quite ill and overheat (and smell worse) so I started using more natural deodrants, smell better but wet underarms, have to change top once in a day (up to 3 times if going to and being at work). Read somewhere that scrubbing under arms night and morning is good for over sweating, and I thought shaving would help, so I shaved under arms every single night. Now not having worked for 6 months, I let underarm hair grow and it smells as fresh as shaven. I just wish all women's tops weren't cut to accentuate boobs and cut into armpits, that is why I am always having to change them. If I wear a vest I don't give a fuck if someone sees armpit hair. Their problem.

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  16. I used to shave under my arms religiously but having dark hair, I find it never looks clean shaven anyway because of the dark roots, so I give up. I do it occasionally but don't care anymore, late 30s you realise there are more important things to life.

    Smooth legs permanently would be great but every method has its problems.
    Shave - doesn't last long
    Epilate - painful, doesn't get many hairs and ingrowing hairs
    Plucking individually - takes too long but more reliable than epilation but regrowth is bumpy
    Waxing - painful and ingrowing hairs
    Cream - smells, messy, chemicals, not effective on strong hairs
    Not tried laser, but I don't wanna. Expensive and must be dangetous for skin.

    So I only shave legs when showing them (twice a year if that), and shave under arms once a month. Trim other bits for coolness and comfort once a week.

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  17. An interesting post and I agree that it would be nice not to have to do it but I like not being hairy. I go swimming 2-3 times a week so feel I have to do it a lot more than I would if I didn't swim or if it was winter. Although it's getting harder now as I am 32 weeks pregnant and can't even see what I am doing down there!!

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  18. Mayra Cajueiro16 July 2012 20:24

    I always go to a parlor. Tried doing myself once when I was 15 and got a nasty burn on my leg! So nasty it needed a skin graft... it's tough being a lady! When I lived in the U.S., though, my friends and I used to buy the wax and do it at home to each other... much easier... it's too painful to do to yourself! Love the blog! xoxo!

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  19. Funnily enough I recently decided that there was no earthly reason why I should shave my armpits (except for it being conventional). So I just stopped. And you know what? Nothing happened! Obviously the hair grew but no one has been openly repelled by me, dh thinks it's cool. It has helped that it has hardly been vest wearing weather. Not sure I would have kept it up for so long (about 3 months now) if it had, after all I'm going against decades of conditioning. I did relent and give it a trim with some clippers this week but I am determined not to shave it all off out of embarrassment.

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  20. Well how gracious of you Luke. We'll make sure we keep it tamed for your pleasure. I hope your own hair isn't wild and out of control.

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  21. Sirens and Bells19 July 2012 19:53

    This is an interesting post, I've shaved for as long as I remember, and now I do it because in my mind I find it's cleaner/more hygienic, but I'm not sure where my belief of that came from, or if I would have this belief  if it
    wasn't so normal to get rid of all body hair. Admittedly, I tend to be less fastidious about it when I know my OH isn't around, but I try to make sure I don't have body hair because I personally don't like the way it looks. Having said that, I respect those who refuse to get rid of it immensely, no-one should feel like they have to get rid of it, and if a person they want to get intimate with doesn't like them, screw them! (Or not, as the case would be) x
    Sirens and Bells

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  22. This is a great post - I LOVE Cherry Healey's shows, there's something about her that I just love! x








    Island Girl Insights ♥

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