Taking Risks

I'm not one for taking risks unless they are calculated. I absolutely cannot go into something blind unless I know there is a back up plan. No matter what risk this refers to I just cannot take the attitude of  "what's the worst that can happen?" I wish I could. I wish I could be care free and bound along in life throwing caution to the wind. But no matter how much I try, I can't do it and caution is always there, lurking in the back of mind screaming at me "BUT WHAT IF YOU DIE?!!!" Dramatic I know - but that's how my brain works.

Image source: My random stuff

When I decided to go freelance it was a risk and a big one at that. What if I failed? What if I wasn't good enough? What if everyone thought I was rubbish? What if I couldn't do it? I was terrified. I really didn't think this was something I could pull off. So I started talking to people outside of my immediate friends and family; people whose opinions I trusted, people who worked in the same industry as me and people who would be ridiculously blunt if they didn't think I could do it.

The reaction I got was surprising. It wasn't just that people thought I could do it but it turned out that I'd accidentally opened a few doors of opportunity as well. A good few people I spoke to had projects they thought I'd be perfect for or had a contact I just *had* to speak to. So the risk I was considering taking became calculated.

There were further calculations. Tom and I sat down with our monthly budget and worked out what would happen if I wasn't bringing in any money. The answer? We could survive and we could survive for at least three months without having to substantially dip into our savings. 'Okay' I thought 'This is turning into a possibility'.


There were lots more conversations with Tom, my family and my friends. I mulled it over. I thought about all the benefits the life of a freelancer could bring and I thought about all the things that would be hard and scary. I made lists, weighing up the pros and cons. I questioned myself some more. In the end I made a decision and I jumped.


I jumped right into the deep end.
I threw caution to the wind. 
I took a risk. 


And now? Well, it's early days; five weeks to be precise. Five weeks where I have worked my butt off. You see, that's the thing with risks, they only work if you make them work. So now I'm fighting for what I want because it really does seem like this was the right choice to make. Yep, I now pretty much work a 10 hour day, yep - I might have won lots of pitches lately and have work coming in but that's not guaranteed every month like a permanent job, and yep - I might have to blow off all my plans because a deadline requires me to work late into the night. But you know what? I couldn't be happier. 


This choice, this risk - it feels like me. It feels right and I feel sure. So I'll keep on fighting for it - because so far, this was a risk worth taking. 

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Have you ever taken a risk? Did it pay off?